Destroy All Humans!

Written by Troy Matsumiya  on March 21, 2005

First Impressions: The aliens strike back!

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Your people are on the verge of extinction. Your entire world is depending on you Ц and you alone Ц to save them. You must travel thousands of light years to a distant world to fight the hostile natives in a desperate, final attempt to save your race. And if the only means to accomplish your mission is to kill every single one of those damned ugly pink-skinned humans standing in your way, well, so be it!

Uh, say what?

In a hilarious twist on the standard science-fiction shooter plot, Pandemic's upcoming Destroy All Humans! (DAH!) puts you in the role of the nasty alien invader attacking Earth. Spoofing classic alien mythology ranging from the infamous Roswell incident to those corny 1950s science fiction movies, DAH! is being designed to both tickle the funny bone and excite gamers' action-hungry, shoot-Сem-up sensibilities.

You will play as Cryptosporidium-137 (or Crypto for short), a big-headed alien УgreyФ and a member of the Furon race. The Furons propagate via cloning (your character is clone number 137 of the original Crypto) but have dwindled to only 2000 individual members thanks to DNA deteriorated by thousands of years of cloning. As a result, if they can't get fresh DNA, their race will soon become extinct. Luckily, a small planet was seeded with Furon DNA long ago, and Crypto is dispatched to harvest that DNA by collecting the brain stems of the native species. But unluckily for us, that small planet is known as Е Earth! (Cue shocking music here.)

Helping you on your mission is your mentor, Orthopox-15. In Furon society, lower numbered clones have greater social status since their DNA is УfresherФ, whereas higher numbered clones like Crypto are frowned upon because their watered-down DNA is a little wonky Ц hence Crypto is a bit of a trigger-happy, loose cannon psycho, while Orthopox is the wise voice of reason. It's a classic comedic contrast that should result in some joyfully amusing arguments. Also, when you die, you are recloned as a new version; so while you start out as number 137, you could end up finishing the game at 160 or even higher. Although nothing official has been stated, there are hints that you might receive some sort of reward at the end of the game that will improve the lower you finish.

Your goal after landing in 1950s middle-America is to collect as many human brain stems as possible, and maybe get in a little probing on the side. You will be armed with a variety of cool alien weaponry to help you achieve your task, including the Zap-o-Matic ray gun, which can wipe out people's memories with a quick tap of the trigger (allowing you to run away to safety) or create human barbeque if you hold the trigger nice and long. You will have other weapons that haven't been revealed yet, but each one can be upgraded.

While running around shooting unarmed citizens may seem easy, eventually the government will come calling, and you will have to deal with soldiers, G-men, and some nasty surprises courtesy of the folks at Majestic. This is when you can show off your unique mental abilities like telekinesis, which will allow you to pick up and throw objects (or humans) like a crazed Jedi. You can use telepathy to read people's minds and gather valuable information, or use hypnosis to force people to do things for you like unlock doors. You can even make them do stupid human tricks like dance or act like an animal for your own amusement or to distract a crowd of people while you go about your business.

You can also disguise yourself by making people think you have human form, allowing you to walk amongst citizens undetected. However, you will have to be careful to stay away from dogs, soldiers, G-men, and loonies wearing tin foil hats who will all be able see through your illusion. All of your mental tricks are limited by your concentration bar, which has to be refilled each time you use your abilities. Fortunately, you can use your collected brain stems to enhance and upgrade your abilities. The combination of your mental tricks and powerful weaponry means you can change your style of gameplay to suit the situation or your mood; so if you want to be sneaky, you can disguise yourself and pretend you're Sam Fisher, or you can go nuts like Master Chief if you want to vent some aggression.

If you really want to make an impression on the puny humans, hop into your flying saucer and blast the crap out of the landscape. Armed with lasers, missiles and what appears to be a tractor beam, you can zip around blowing up buildings, cars, tanks, and even cows.

Ah, yes, cows. What is it with aliens and their obsession with cows? If this question has been keeping you up at night, rejoice for DAH! will explain all that, along with why aliens make crop circles and why they enjoy abducting humans and, um, probing them. You can bet that Pandemic will poke (no pun intended) fun at many other famous and infamous legends of alien mythology, including the government's involvement; after you complete a mission, the devastation you leave behind will be covered up, explained as a УtornadoФ or other silly, innocuous reason. Fox Mulder would be proud.

Graphically, DAH! is looking good. The 1950s setting is a perfect choice, complete with authentic looking cars and fashions, and even standard 1950s science-fiction props like Tesla coils (something no mad scientist should be without). The music should set the mood perfectly as well, since it will be based on the eerie theremin music of Bernard Herrmann, who scored such classics as The Day The Earth Stood Still and the original Twilight Zone TV series.

Crypto, who will be played in the third-person view, is very detailed and looks like one mean son of clone. The humans don't have the same level of detail (at least at this point in the build) but since you will be harvesting their brain stems anyway, you probably won't care. On the other hand, the warping effects as you use your mental abilities, the bright colorful zaps of your ray gun, and the beautiful explosions caused by your flying saucer look incredible. Spanning five huge locations across about 20 missions, DAH! will take you from farmland to a small community to the heart of Area 51 itself, where the action is promising to be really frantic.