Naughty Bear

Written by Troy Matsumiya  on April 22, 2010

First Impressions: When teddies attack!

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You won't find a more idyllic place than Paradise Island, which is inhabited by cuddly and colorful teddy bears and playful exotic birds Ц heck, even the frogs are so cute it makes you want to go, УAwwwЕФ

Thank goodness all hell is about to break loose.

You see, the teddies are throwing a birthday party and everyone is invited Ц except for a scruffy, disreputable fellow named Naughty Bear. Hey, with a name like that, it shouldn't be surprising that he gets teased and ostracized by everyone. But poor Naughty Bear has had enough; being left off the guest list has caused him to snap and vow revenge on his uppity stuffie brethren.



And don't be fooled by his teddy heritage. Naughty Bear is very naughty Ц in fact, a more appropriate name would be Crazy-As-Bat-Poop-Psycho-Serial-Killer-It-Puts-The-Lotion-In-The-Basket-Nutcase Bear, but it doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.

Created by Artificial Mind and Movement (A2M), the same folks behind the over-the-top action shooter Wet, Naughty Bear is definitely not for the kids. Playing as the titular character, you will exact vengeance on your hapless victims by shooting, burning, electrocuting, stabbing, slashing, exploding, crushing, drowning, smashing, chopping, barbecuing and beating the stuffing out of them (literally!). Heck, you can even chuck them into a giant cake mixer or scare them so badly they will commit suicide right in front of you. Care Bears this ain't.

Every time you carry out your evil deeds you will earn Naughty Points, which will unlock new levels and costumes. Multipliers will be earned based on how much creative mayhem you can cause, and that doesn't necessarily mean going on a wild Grand Theft Auto-style rampage (though you can if you want). For example, you can use a bear trap to capture a victim and torture the poor fellow by scaring him. If another bear witnesses your crime, he could be scared into committing suicide. If another bear sees this, he, too, could be scared to death, and on it goes.

As your points rack up, your reputation as an evildoer will also increase. This will cause citizens to run and hide inside their homes, where they will stick out their tongues and taunt you Ц that is, until you break through their windows and perform some rather nasty house cleaning. Eventually, police bears (naturally called the Fuzz) will be called in to hunt you down. Kill the Fuzz and things will escalate as ninja bears will try to take you out. Normally you will be able to escape your attackers by hiding in the woods but this won't fool the ninjas who are, as the name implies, very fast and deadly..

The game appears to be heavily influenced by GTA with its open world sandbox environment and its non-scripted NPC characters. Each teddy will have its own personality and behave differently, so while one bear might be a cowardly pushover, another might be tougher and fight back.

The unlockable costumes will add new attributes like strength, health, speed and so on, in addition to making your bear look spiffy. These can also work as a stealthy disguise; for example, if you dress up as a police bear and kill someone in front of witnesses, the citizens will attack any police bear they see in retaliation.

Visually, the game has a nice cartoony look that provides a humorous contrast to the insanely violent rampage of the main character. While the teddy citizens sport a wide array of bright colors and look fresh off the shelf, Naughty Bear has clearly seen better days. His dirt-brown fur is ripped and torn, with hastily sewn Frankenstein-like stitches covering his body. A big chunk of one ear has been chewed off, making one think he used to be Mike Tyson's childhood teddy (which would also explain his personality, but I digress).

The violence is graphic but there is no blood, hence the surprising Teen rating. However, watching fluffy white stuffing spill out of gaping wounds can be disturbing, yet hilarious at the same time.