Gaming Target - PlayStation 2: BMX XXX

Written by John Scalzo on October 22, 2002

First Impressions: Using gyrating breasts as a reward for playing a game is little on the twisted side.

Regular readers of Gaming Target probably know my feelings on BMX XXX and similar games already. I think that these games, that are created and marketed solely on the amount of boobage they show, is an immature move by game developers. At worst it is stunting the perception of the games industry that they've worked for so long to cultivate. At best they're just crass.

Originally titled Dave Mirra BMX XXX, Acclaim has stripped all of the licensed equipment and real life riders from the game and instead shifted the focus down to the two things left in the title: bikes and boobs. Much like the Dave Mirra series it was originally going to be a part of, BMX XXX is yet another extreme sports game set in the BMX world. Except instead of realistic trick physics and real BMX riders, the hook of BMX XXX is real live nude Scores girls. By performing tricks, completing tasks, and finding bonuses it's your goal to earn enough money to catch a DVD quality strip show at Scores. The more cash you make, the more nakedness you get to see.

BMX XXX is being built with a "slighty tweaked" version of the Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2 game engine. So at the very least the pedigree is there for a fantastic BMX sim. Acclaim rather has gone in the complete opposite direction and decided to focus the game on it's most controversial part: the three X's in that title and everything they stand for. This is at the same time the ballsiest thing they could have done and the stupidest. The biggest piece of the controversy is of the DVD quality strip show. And from the few seconds of video they have released, the video quality looks remarkable. But even Acclaim has some shame as they have kept the particularly racy bits out of the ten seconds or so of stripping they show in the trailer. Of course with talk of censorship flying around, who knows, we might never see these naughtier bits. Of course, who's to say what's naughty when the game you're talking about includes an option to make your female rider topless? If that weren't enough, BMX XXX will also include a create-a-rider mode that will allow you to customize the size of your rider's breasts among other things. Just writing that sentence makes me feel dirty. I guess Acclaim got their wish as they promote this game by saying "Keep it Dirty."

The other half of BMX XXX is a lot less XXX and more along the lines of Jackass. To get to see the pretty ladies stripping you need money. And to earn money you have to complete all sorts of innuendo filled tasks. Among the stranger items include getting two dogs to stop sharing a bone, finding a leaf blower for a bum's "recreational" use, scaring a bunch of birds out of the bike park so they'll do their business elsewhere, and of course, causing physical violence on other riders.

And supplying the punch lines to these humorous situations are according to Acclaim, "real Hollywood screenwriters". Well gee guys, were the "real comic strip writers" busy that day? Of course who does the writing is not as important as the question is it funny? And as much as it pains me to admit it, a lot of these jokes that I've heard are hilarious. Sophomoric humor yes, but sophomoric humor at it's finest. The characters are unique and if they receive at least equal screen time to the Scores girls, then BMX XXX might not be an exploitive mess after all. It's almost like a good comedy where you don't want to spoil some of the best jokes when you try to explain to people why it's so funny.

And when the hot dog vendor stops trying to sell you a "piping hot wiener" the game's tunes will at least be worth noting. Tracks from Audiovent, New Found Glory, 311, Saliva, and one of the Green Day's greatest songs: "Basket Case", are just a few of the radio friendly songs.

There are rumors going around that BMX XXX will be edited for it's PS2 release. Personally I don't believe Sony would be caught with their pants down like that (metaphorically speaking of course). Both Nintendo and Microsoft have made no indication they want to make any cuts to BMX XXX. And Sony can't be left behind both Nintendo and Microsoft like that. We all remember what happened with Sega and Nintendo and the great Mortal Kombat blood code don't we?