Gaming Target - Xbox: Outlaw Golf

Written by Adam Woolcott on September 08, 2003

Full Review: The Stripper sez: You can clear my sandtrap any day, baby.

As the first and only golf game on Xbox, Outlaw Golf is the only choice for golfing fans that own the system (Tiger Woods 2003 is on the way, however). This is not your typical golf simulation though Ц instead of the stereotypical stuffy folkies that supposedly roam the courses, Outlaw Golf takes some other stereotypes to create a hilarious game that plays well to boot. Where else can you play as a biker chick who has a not-so-secret love of golf? Or a drunken Scottish guy who says УbloodyФ every 10 seconds (well, okay, that's a little more realistic)? Nowhere else but in Outlaw Golf.

This is where Outlaw suffers, in many ways. Developer Hypnotix has created a very realistic golf engine that would be perfect for a serious golf sim. Yet the low-brow humor and bizarre characters will probably turn off serious golfers (or just the bloody freakin' prudes!), and the intricate game engine and realistic play will turn off people looking for a Hot Shots Golf-like experience Ц something the average gamer would think OG is about (given the zany characters). Still, there's no denying Outlaw Golf is a well-made and fun game of golf Ц just one that really doesn't and won't hit the audience that would eat it up the most.

Outlaw Golf features a ton of different game modes, split into a pair of categories. The exhibition modes let you just take the course, complete with mulligans if you turn them on, and whack at the ball in various game modes. In addition to the basic 18-hole stroke play, there's match play tournaments, and a cool casino mode where you put money down on shots, like typical amateur golfers do. The tour mode comes with dozens of tournaments that are played on the 3 different golf courses included. Also, there's a skills mode that lets you increase your desired golfer's ability by completing the various (tough) challenges.

At the outset, only 4 golfers are selectable Ц the rest are unlocked in Tour mode. What's there is a good enough sample of the wackiness that's involved Ц the biker chick (named..gee..Harley), Autumn the stripper (complete with a half-naked caddie), Ice Trey the white guy wannabe rapper, and the infamous El Suave Ц the only golfer in existence who says Уlook at my crotch!Ф when you select them. Each of the golfers comes with a few extra costumes to play virtual Barbie Ц if Barbie was a stripper, of course.

Unlocking things is the main way of progression here. Not only do you unlock characters, you unlock new golf clubs and golf balls, all increasing your playing ability as you progress through the Tour mode. While there are only 3 courses, they're all filled with tournaments and unlockables, so playing them more than once is not hard to get motivated for.

On the course, Outlaw Golf brings 2 things that haven't been seen before Ц one that should be in every golf game from now on, and another that won't be in any copies of Links or Tiger Woods Golf anytime soon. The composure meter is the cool and useful new addition Ц one that makes the game seem more like real golf. Basically, the composure meter is what makes the game either easy or really hard. If you shoot a great shot, your meter goes up. If you slice one bad or smack it into the water, your composure goes the other way. If it's all green, you're In The ZoneЕif it's all red, you're In The Gutter. The only way to raise the meter is to play great golf Ц something that gets more challenging the lower your composure meter is. Of course, if you have a beating token, you can get right in the zone.

The beating token idea is the other new thing Ц in order to regain composure, sometimes you just have to beat the living snot out of your caddie. Outlaw Golf features caddy ass kicking Ц it's still a complicated process to get a full beating, but it's fun as hell to do. If you have a beating token, a press of the Y button will send you into fighting mode. Once you start, you have to get a little bar on the bottom of the screen to stop in a little gap Ц do it 5 times and you get a full ass-kicking and a full In The Zone meter. Just watching the fights are hilarious, and it really does make your golf game a lot better here.

Besides that, OG is a fairly simple game of golf Ц but one that's very hard to master. Swinging is as simple as pulling back on the right thumbstick and then pushing it forward Ц just make sure it's straight or you'll hook or slice it and cause some trouble. Weather is factor as well; just make sure to look at the wind before lining up your shot and you'll be fine. Just watch out for the rough Ц it will knock your composure meter down to Even with one misplaced shot.

On the putting green, things are pretty tough, but playable. When on the green, you can use a preview shot 3 times Ц line up the yellow line to the hole and press X Ц and you'll see where the shot is supposed to wind up. Spend time lining it up before shooting and you'll get your putting down pretty quickly; as long as you don't putt it too hard and overshoot the hole.

Outlaw Golf is not perfect, however. Hypnotix made a major mistake in making the greens so damn fast Ц I've never seen greens so fast in my life. If you hit one end of a green, be assured that it will fly across the thing and go into the rough or fringe before it's all done. Even fooling around with the backspin or topspin meter won't help Ц the greens are just too damn fast for their own good. Thus, OG is a lot more difficult than it should be for the wrong reasons Ц if the greens were half as fast as they are, it would be much more reasonable and entertaining.

With that said, it has to also be said that OG suffers from an identity crisis. As mentioned in the beginning here, the intended audience for this game Ц that being the people who want a silly golf game with some low-brow characters and actions will not enjoy the hardcore realism that the game includes, nor will they like the ultra-fast greens. Surely a more simplistic, yet challenging engine that lets you pick up and play without worrying about composure (no matter how cool it may be) or backspin would appeal to this brand of gamer. On the other hand, the hardcore golf fan will find a ton to like here in the engine and realism (except for the beatings, which appeal to the non-golfer), but probably won't like the irreverence of the game. Of course there's exceptions (after all, I'm playing it, but I'm from both groups), but for the most part this is a game that has a chance to appeal to both markets, but runs the risk of appealing to neither. It doesn't ruin the fact that it's a well made, polished, and fun game with a ton of humor (even if it's the kind that might make many roll their eyes) Ц it just limits the possible audience somewhat.

Graphically Outlaw Golf certainly takes advantage of the power of the Xbox. With great water effects, realistic grass, and super-detailed characters and sharp animations throughout, the game certainly stands out as a looker. The courses themselves are the highlights. All 3 are not only exceptionally well-made with tons of traps all around, the detail to them is tremendous. An animated gallery follows you around, watching your shots and laughing at your crappy ones. Besides that, outside details such as water towers in the middle of the course, or a line of trailer parks along the out of bounds areas of one course are nice and amusing touches.

The audio in Outlaw Golf is one of the strongest points though. Announcer Steve Carell (of Comedy Central's Daily Show fame) is consistently hilarious (wow, a tree on a golf course, who'da thunk it), but also consistently repetitive, since after one 18-hole game, you've probably heard all the phrases he recorded. The characters themselves are even funnier Ц especially the occasionally hilarious fly-bys that typically take a silly turn (how you supposed to get your damn ball between those cement things? This ain't no miniature golf course). After each hole is done the characters have little lines depending on the result Ц including our favorite stripper using the flagstick as her new pole.

The music is low-key and not very audible Ц but that's just like a porn movie, and porn movie music sounds like this. So I hear, anyway. There are some sparse effects, like the sounds of the ball banging on the course, and background noises like trains or cars passing by (check this game out in DD 5.1 if you can).