Sonic Vs Mario: The battle you've all been waiting for has arrived, and we've got the exclusive
Sonic Vs Mario The battle you've all been waiting for has arrived, and we've got the exclusive This is the battle that you the readers have been asking for. That's right and we have it for you. Our two competitors today have been training over that past few months to get ready for this battle. Sonic has been upset since the days of genesis when Mario edged him out in the 16bit battle and rubbed it in buy putting a 16ft billboard in Sonics front lawn saying УYou will never be the bestФ. Mario on the other hand, has been mad at Sonic for talking about his mama's weight problem and starting a rumor about him and Luigi having intimate encounters.
Well as you can see from the numbers Mario seems to have the advantage over the smaller lighter sonic.
|
Sonic |
Mario |
Height |
5'7Ф |
6'0Ф |
Weight |
125lbs |
195lbs |
Reach |
28Ф |
35Ф |
Body fat % |
4% |
21% |
Age |
10 |
30 |
On a side note this was suppose to be a royal rumble with Crash Bandicoot as well but, he supposedly got a bad case of turf toe and will be out of action for the next year. After we got news of Crash's withdrawal from the fight we sent in an undercover agent to scope out Crash's house. Our secret agent found Crash doing ballet in a pink tutu and has photos to prove it (we'll have the photos up later in the week).
We have just received word that our two fighters have entered the building and are in there respective locker rooms, we'll take you down there for pre-fight interview. First we're heading over to Sonic locker room to see what he has to say about the fight.
Ryan: УSo, Sonic what do you have about Mario being the favorite?Ф
Sonic: УThey're just choosing him because he is bigger. Wait till they see what this little guyЕ errЕ animal can do.Ф
Ryan: УWho will you have in the corner with you tonight?Ф
Sonic: УWell I've chosen Tails to be me in my corner for moral support. And Amy, for well, a little female lovinЕerrЕ.support.Ф
Ryan: УWhat is your prediction on the fights out come?Ф
Sonic: УTHAT PLUMBER IS GOIN DOWN THE DRAINФ
Well we know that Sonic is pumped and ready to fight, lets see how Mario is doing.
Ryan: УMario your opponent seems pumped and ready to fight, are you nervous?Ф
Mario: УNervous? By a little blue hedgehog? NEVER! Ф
Ryan: УI know you originally wanted to put three people in your corner but the commissioner stepped in and said you could only have two. Have you decided who you were going to put in your corner?Ф
Mario: УYes that's right, I wanted to have Princess, Toad, and Luigi in my corner but, I've decided to take Toad out and have my brother and lifetime love in the corner with me.Ф
Ryan: УAny predictions for the fight tonight?Ф
Mario: УPut it this way we're going to have hedgehog kabobs tonight at my place, poolside
All of the 100 million viewers out there wont be disappointed with the fight tonight. Both competitors seem confident that they will win and will put forth all the effort it takes to do it. Here in the stadium tonight we have over 250,000 fans waiting patiently for their favorite video game character to come out of their respective tunnels. Mario emerges first with most of the crowd erupting with excitement as Mario walks down the aisle to the ring. The rest of the crowd erupts as Sonic walks out of his tunnel and down to the ring.
Both fighters are wearing their respective colors, with Sonic being in blue and Mario being in red. The two combatants come to the middle of the ring where Matt Swider is standing to give the pre-fight instructions: УI know there is a lot of anger between you two but you must keep the fight clean. There will be no hitting below the belt and no use of foreign objects. Now both of you shake hands, head back to your corners and get ready to come out fighting at the sound of the bellФ
Sonic and Mario go back to their respective corners and wait for the bell. УDINGФ both fighters make there way to the center of the ring and start throwing a few jabs. It's looking like the two are shaping up their opponents, trying to find their weakness. This goes on for a few until Sonic makes the first move, Sonic steps back, shouts, УIn the name of my father! NAKA-SAN!Ф and dashes at his opponent at full speed. Mario steps to the side and trips Sonic watching him go flying out of the ring and into the crowd. The crowd erupts into laughter; Sonic embarrassed, staggers out of the crowd and next to ringside. Sonic quickly jumps up on to the ropes, catapults himself high in the air and smacks Mario straight across the kisser, Mario staggers back.
Mario is now furious and starts to glow a bright red and jumps back and high into the air and shoots a fury of fireballs at Sonic. Sonic dodges the first few but is finally hit by one and catches ablaze. Sonic now panicking, drops to the ground and starts rolling and gets the fire out before much damage is done. УDINGФ that's the end of round 1, and a great round it was. I wonder how long these two gladiators of the console will last. Oh wait its almost time for the 2nd round to start. УDINGФ the two combatants once again come out of their corner and are ready to fight. The two warriors are attacking with frenzy, but can't seem to land anything. Mario has been jumping and shooting off fireballs while Sonic has been spin dashing left and right to avoid his onslaught. Finally Sonic makes a move, he launches him self into the air and grabs, then throws Mario towards the corner of the ring. Mario is dazed, Sonic dashes at Mario and nails him dead-on, flinging him high up into the air.
Sonic then runs and grabs onto the corner post and spins around it several times, releases from the pole just in time to catch Mario on his way down and nailing him right in his gut. Mario flies across the ring and into the post, Mario severely beaten, is somehow able to stand up, but Sonic, knowing the power, of his enemy doesn't stop. Sonic starts to run around the ring picking up speed and finally barrels into his opponent knocking him completely unconscious.
Immediately after Sonic's victory a crazed fan runs out of the crowd and into the ring and starts yelling УI LOVE YOU SONICФ and starts kissing all over him. Security guards quickly apprehended the lunatic, later recognized as Akash Suri, and was taken down to the local police station. Stick around and we will have your post fight interviews with the winner Sonic The Hedgehog and the loser Mario.
Well we're here with the winner Sonic for the post fight interview.
Ryan: УYour predictions were correct, how do you feel?Ф
Sonic: УI feel like the best! But it definitely wasn't easy, Mario was a fierce competitor and I have more respect for him now then I ever did before.Ф
Ryan: У Do you think that your win will have an impact on the gaming world?Ф
Sonic: УI doubt you will see any difference in sales, but if you ever see a game with me and Mario in it, it's proven that I will be a better characterФ
Ryan: УDo you think there will ever be a rematch?Ф
Sonic: УI would have to say more than likely, I like the fierce competition and I seriously doubt that Crash could ever give me a challengeФ
Ryan: УOne last question, can I get your autograph, I mean can I get a autograph for my kid?Ф
Sonic: УI don't see why not.Ф
Ryan: УWOOHOO!Ф
Well we are going to head over to Mario's locker room to see what he has to say about the fight.
Daniel: УMario you just lost to a animal how do you feel?Ф
Mario: УPathetic, I wouldn't blame him for never letting this down after I put that billboard up in his front lawn.Ф
Daniel: УSonic has agreed to a rematch because he doesn't think that Crash will be any kind of a challenge, would you except?Ф
Mario: УOf course I would, I just think that I need to train better next time and lose some of this weight.Ф
Daniel: УIs there still going to be a party at your house tonight?Ф
Mario: УWhat do you think?Ф
Daniel: УDarn it I was so looking forward to some barbecue.Ф
Mario: УYou know Daniel, I may have lost to Sonic, but I could nail you in the groin with a fireball right now.Ф
::::Daniel runs away:::: Wow, he's almost as fast as Sonic,
ALMOST.
I hoped you guys and gals enjoyed tonight's fight as much as I did. Keep checking back with us for the possible rematch between these two gladiators of the console. Maybe we can even get Crash in on the next fight, unless of course he comes down with another so called УinjuryФ and cant make it.