Too Hot to Handle

Written by Omer Ali  on August 08, 2001

Special: This feature is rated B for Boo... Babes

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I have yet to find a hot girl to loves the whole video game culture as much as I do. While I think that there are amazing girls who love video games but they just keep it on the down low; at least us guys have the hot girls of the polygon and digital world. Even though they are not real they still make blood pressures rise. Girls have graced all the various genres of the video game world; action, RPG, adventure, platform, and combat fighting just to name a few. And lately the girls have been on to of guys... in the sale charts; just look at Tomb Raider's Lara Croft. Video game chicks have always been around and always will be around, and on that note lets take a look at some of my favorites from the past and present. Now remember these are my picks and in no way reflect the views of Gaming Target. If you have your own picks I would love to hear them.

Chicks УRФ Us

Princess Toadstool
The oldest and most recognizable girl in video games in my opinion has to be the cute and cuddly Princess Toadstool. Our lovable princess from all the Mario adventures. I mean this girl had it all, a huge Kingdome, millions of loyal mushroom people, two plumbers who would do anything for her at the drop of a dime, and a cute button nose that could make King Koopa shed his scales. With all these great things you would figure a girl like this would have some brains behind the crown, but sadly this princess proved the theory of the stereotypical blonde girl. In every Mario game Princess Toadstool somehow managed to get kidnapped by King Koopa/Bowser. I mean you'd figure that a chick that ruled an entire world and had lots of money could buy some decent protection, or at least get some self-defense lessons. As cute as she was Princess Toadstool was a monument to the dumb blonde stereotype.

Lara Croft
Our next most recognizable girl, who has been dubbed by many the Queen of Curves, is Lara Croft. The beautiful, curvaceous, and intelligent archeologist who made many little boys come out of their tombs, if you know what I mean. Lara Croft was the girl responsible for making girls popular as lead characters in video games. Lara Croft made us all believe that wearing skimpy short shorts in deadly rainforest, which are full of deadly snakes and insects and poisonous plants, was okay. She also gave great moral support to all the girls with size DD chests, as if they needed it. Lara Croft was an inspiration to us all, an unrealistic inspiration but an inspiration nonetheless. I mean come on how could a girl with such a huge chest and such skinny legs stand upright, she defied the laws of physics, but still Lara and her chest will always have a place in the homes of all video game fans.

Aya Brea
Aya is one of my all time favorite leading ladies in video games. She had the right combination of looks and intelligence. Her short silky hair, that innocent school girl face, a masters degree worth of intelligence, and a set of long smooth legs, its no wonder that all the molecules in her body were jumping off the scales. Even though she seemed as delicate as a snowflake, Aya was a street smart NYPD detective. Aya's curves were not nearly as dangerous as her trigger finger. Aya also had, pardon my language, balls of steel. This girl could look a giant mutant rat in the face and not even break a sweat. Aya definitely has it goin' on.

Joanna Dark
A latecomer in the action/adventure genre but a welcomed one nonetheless. Any girl that has a body like Joanna's and wears tight black leather outfits to work will be on any guys list. Joanna's body could make anyone forget the fact she was concealing a gun or any other weapon for that matter. She was also a super secret spy, which just adds to her already extensive appeal. There's just something about a spy girl that makes heads turn. Joanna was also Nintendo's first super sexy, for mature audiences only, female heroine, and she was definitely no Princess Toadstool. Even James Bond had nothing on this buxom spy. Joanna could definitely shake Bond's martinis, or anyone's for that matter.

Hana Tsu-Vachel
This is the girl of my dreams and of all those who have laid their eyes on her. Hana makes Lara Croft look like a seven-year old school girl playing on the school jungle gym. Hana has it all, killer looks and curves, smarter than your average bear, and more dangerous than Bill Clinton at a porno convention. Hana made all the heads at the ESRB turn 360° with the moves she pulled in Fear Effect and Fear Effect: Retro Helix. Hana could do everything from extracting information to taking out multiple targets with little effort. This girl gave new meaning to the phrase УUsing sex as a weaponФ. The only thing that sucks is the fact that she's a lesbian. Then again maybe that's a plus.

Claire Redfield and Jill Valentine
The two girls from the Resident Evil series who made the dead rise up with their looks. These two really spiced up the Resident Evil franchise with their short skirts and long legs. But looks are not everything. I mean really what female cop goes around shooting the undead in a skirt and high cut boots? Yeah it's fine if you're out partying, but taking on zombies, oh please spare me. But still these two where quite brave and intelligent to take on a city full of zombies and come out without so much as a broken nail. You got to be pretty skillful to pull that off. Since taking on deadly undead monsters is no small task, and these two had to make my list.

Bottom Line
Well there it is my list of the girls of video games, girls who defied logic with their looks and intelligence. These were the ladies who had more than just deadly curves they also had deadly minds. I know I probably left out a whole bunch of other leading ladies and that's why Id love to hear from you our reader as to your choices and if I get enough responses Ill put up a fans favorite list, comparing your thoughts to mine. One final note; to all the guys, remember, "Looks can be deceiving."