OneChanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

Written by Jason Young  on February 20, 2009

Review: Boobs, zombies, and blood. Sounds like a night out with the boys.

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Aaaah, yesЕguilty pleasures, check your brain at the door and stay for the absolute nonsense. No other words could be used to describe this generation of Xbox 360's niche titles. From Atlus' World War II thriller Operation Darkness to D3's release of Earth Defense Force 2017, it was only a matter of time until more niche Japanese gaming to the Western shores; this time in the name of Onechanbara: Biking Samurai Squad.

While the premise for the game is pretty self-explanatory, I'll do a favor for those of you who want to hear it one more time. You slay zombies. In a bikini. Now that we've set all that aside let's talk about the game itself. Almost everything from the horrible insipid graphics to the game's absolutely dreadful soundtrack reeks of mediocrity.

Taking on the role of zombie slayer sisters Aya and Saki, as well as their police friend Annna (no, that's not a typo), players progress through twenty gore-filled levels that feels as redundant as the one before it. After all, you can only take a game so far when all you do is slay zombies. Need a key? Slay two-hundred zombies to progress. Fighting a boss? Don't worry another hundred zombies will be fighting alongside it. Although there is a little bit of variety, including an epic fight with a zombie orca, many of the levels have the player going through hordes of undead to find a key at the other side of a map only to backtrack once you have it.



Unfortunately, the gameplay feels nearly just as redundant. Using a control scheme that makes Dynasty Warriors seem like God of War, attacks are divided up into kick, regular, strong attacks, and your special life-draining super move. While there are combos that you could use in the game called Уcool attacks,Ф they're so ridiculously difficult to pull off that most gamers could just button mash through the entire game and finish it without having to learn this technique. Thankfully, players get to switch between two characters on the fly, otherwise the gameplay would have just gotten even staler. Sticking with the agile assassin Saki and the powerhouse Aya will more than likely be your standard party, however as the game's shooting mechanism is absolutely horrible. You point your gun and you shoot with a button.

When using Saki and Aya, players will be forced to take notice of how much blood is accumulated on the character's clothing when filling your blood gauge. Once you reach the max, characters will enter you in rage mode where you gain extra power in exchange for draining your life. In addition, getting to much blood on your sword renders it useless melee combat. As you defeat your zombie hordes, players gain experience orbs, along with items, that you can spend in order to upgrade your character and their abilities.

Gameplay aside, perhaps the worst part of the game is the fact that little is explained to the player. Instead, they're left to fend for themselves with nothing more than a little in-game tutorial that teaches the player how to attack. Combos are virtually hidden without the ability to decipher the games practice mode and achievement completionists will have an equally tough time figuring out exactly what is required to unlock the game's various quests. Without the use of the external sources, this becomes a near impossible task as unlocking them and fulfilling their conditions appear as nothing more than question marks in-game.

Equally as bad is the game's overall presentation. While the game's graphics engine does initially appear to be archaic, it's nearly excusable as it was part of Japan's early 360 development cycle back in 2006. What's not excusable, however, is the screen tearing that occurs when upscaling to 1080p. Given that the game says 1080p/i right on the back of the box, D3 should have taken some time during localization in order to fix this problem. Instead, we're left with a messy looking game that clips during both cutscenes and gameplay. Artistically however, the game just looks boring and uninspired compared to many other 360 games. Many of the game's environments will feel exactly the same; and that's because they are. Audibly, the game is just as bad with a laughable cheese-town soundtrack and lame voice acting. Luckily, D3 realized this as well and allowed players to use custom soundtracks. I mean who doesn't want to listen to Muse while slicing zombies? To me, it nearly forgives that horrible baseball scene from last year's epic summer disaster Twilight.


Remember how I said almost everything reeks of mediocrity? I'm going to go out on a limb here and let you all in on the game's only redeeming factors: replayability and charm. As stated earlier, for those of you who enjoy unlocking items, the game is full of different things that require different conditions to unlock. In fact, acquiring everything and getting all the achievements could nearly clock your playtime to around one-hundred hours plus. In addition, the game's survival mode allows you to pair off with a like-minded friend via split-screen. Not bad for a УbudgetФ game.

Adding to that is even though the gameplay may begin to feel old after you slay your 4,234 zombie the charm never loses its touch. After all, if there's anything that Capcom's Dead Rising taught us, it's that there's nothing quiet like slicing a zombie in half as they squirm after you. Especially when there's nothing left other than their legs. The game's uniqueness stretches to the character progression as you inch closer and closer to rage mode. No other game allows your characters to be drenched in multi-colored blood (red, pink, and white.) It's crude, it's offending, but it's also so very awesome.